"I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off."
"I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."
"Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix."
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals........except the weasel."
"I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow."
"All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober, where's the meat? I'm trying to impress people here.' Lisa, you don't win friends with salad."
"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"
"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive."
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