Thursday, April 10, 2008

Henny Youngman One-Liners

Take my wife.................please.

When I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

My wife has a black belt in shopping.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

The doctor called and said 'your check came back', I said, 'good, so did my arthritis'.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary.

I have the Midas touch. Everything I touch turns into a muffler.

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